Thursday, July 14, 2011

Give Peas a Chance...

"Ev'rybody's talking about
Bagism, Shagism, Dragism, Madism, Ragism, Tagism
This-ism, that-ism
Isn't it the most
All we are saying is give peas a chance
All we are saying is give peas a chance..."
  -- John Lennon, "Give Peace a Chance
        (With minor modification to the lyrics and a large apology to Mr. Lennon) 

From the Telegraph online:  President Obama raised the stakes on negotiations to raise the United States government's $14.3 trillion debt ceiling by declaring he would not accept any stopgap measures involving a short-term increase in the borrowing limit.

"That is not an acceptable approach," he said at a press conference before talks resumed. "So we might as well do it now. Pull off the bandaid. Eat our peas.  Now is the time to do it. If not now, when?"

Okay, for those of you who have been around for a while, you know that I spent last week at Tuscarora Boy Scout camp with our local Boy Scout Troop.  What you may NOT know is that not once during the week spent at camp were we able to 'Eat our peas' as they were not on the dining hall menu. 

I suppose that we could have 'Brought our own peas', or 'Special-Ordered our peas', but in hindsight, I never much thought about it.  I figured I'd just eat whatever got slapped on my tray.  Yes, I pretty much eat whatever gets tossed down in front of me (with the exception of anything with EYES still attached). 

Anything that's looking back at me while I'm eating it - no, that's the line I will NEVER cross. 

  • Whole shrimp 
  • Crawfish
  • Broiled whole snapper

Nope, I just can't bring myself to do any of the above. 

If I'm eating something it will NOT be looking at me as my canine's tear into it's soft while underbelly. 

(INTERESTING, YET POINTLESS FACTOID!:  The original name of the band, "Blue Oyster Cult" was, in fact, "Soft White Underbelly"!  Although, the song 'Don't Fear the Reaper' by "Soft White Underbelly" would sound completely STUPID, so I'm quite glad that they changed their name to something fearsomely awesome like "Blue Oyster Cult"!  Yeah, rock on - it's a CULT!  And they like oysters - which are blue...  And, oh, never mind...)

NOTE TO SELF:  Figure out why 'fishy creatures' are served 'mostly intact'.  Then, pass legislation which prohibits their appearance on menus in public restaurants which I might happen to frequent.  Add anything on the '1/2 Shell' to the list as well as they look like they just shot out of a TB-Ward and onto your plate...  NOTE TO SELF ENDS

So President Obama has decided that it's time for US to 'Eat our peas'?  Okay.  Sure, bring them on, I love me some peas!  Fresh peas snapped fresh from the pod, either raw, or boiled in water then dashed into a bowl of ice water to keep 'em nice and firm while still a healthy 'flourescent' green?  Yumm-O!

The thing of it is, why does the President make 'Eating our peas' seem like a BAD thing?  Does he not LIKE peas?  Was he accosted by a pea at an early age?  Do Democrats not eat peas?  Does the man not eat peas due to an obscure religious prohibition? 

I guess in general that there are folks who do not like peas so much, but that's probably because they were spoiled as children and were able to eat whatever they wanted (just as long as their wife was not nearby).

A completely pea-less meal. 
(Well maybe after slushing down that 32 oz. beverage? 
THEN the pea will come!!!  Mark my words there won't be a dry seat
at the Philly CheeseSteak House tonight!)

Here's the thing:  If someone's going to be getting all 'condescending' on me, I'd like them (the 'Dad' figure) to be articulate enough to make me feel guilty about whatever I did, or did not do, very SPECIFICALLY

I guess it's hard to be 'less than obtuse' when you're the smartest guy in the room... 
So I guess it comes down to this:  Does President Obama dislike peas THAT MUCH, or was he trying to sound like, well, you know, our 'Dad'?  "You'd better clean your plate because there are starving kids in China!", or, "Your Mother worked hard to cook, um, whatever THAT is, you'd better darn well eat it!  Unfortunately, I ATE on the way home when Mom told me what we were having so YOU need to eat MINE also!!!  Now get busy!!!"  

In the above 'pea' example, I'm assuming that President Obama wants me to eat a round green vegetable - which is easy, because I already eat peas.  Like sure, no big deal.  

Now, if he wants me to eat something with eyes (like potatoes!  Eww, SHUDDER!) or eyes hanging out of the critter's head on 'stalks', well, we've got a problem again (see 'Eye-Inclusive Foods' listed above). 

As for the President and Mrs. Obama, I think they'd better stop telling us what to eat because it all comes to the same.  They are forever telling us to eat, well, pretty much whatever they want US to eat. 

And I'm tired of the crap they've been serving out of the White House for the past couple of years.  I'll eat what I want - when I want. 

You won't find me on the 'Pea Line' accepting hand-outs from President Obama... 
"All you people - eat your peas!"
I'm a big boy.  My Mom told me to eat my veggies and such.  I don't need the President getting all "Jolly Green Giant-y" on me.  
Oh, and another thing - he'd better keep his hands off my Band-Aid.  Like I said, I was at Camp all last week and I know that it heals better 'When it's covered longer'.   
Lastly, someone came up with the 'Give Peas a Chance' schtick years ago...   Long-time before I thought of it.  That's why I'm always honest with you - because if I'm not, I'm gonna get caught.  And I'm already sporting a Band-Aid - don't want any more... 

You don't have to trust the Feds, but you can always trust your friendly neighborhood Cow Guy:
Would I lie to you???

Nah.  I mind my Peas and my Queues!

Yeah, it's the American Way (now).


  1. Mike, I don't have a problem with "eye" food but don't get me started on internal organs. Now go eat your peas cause the "dad" in charge said you have to and we all know he's in charge. AND don't forget

    "Bless us O Lord..."
    cause we are going to need it by the time this debacle is over.

  2. Fishy, years ago an old Italian gentleman told he'd gotten through the the great depression by feeding his family Rice and Beans almost every night, it was all he could afford.. he added that when the kifds complained too much he vary the diet and feed them Beans and Rice.. Another Depression favorite was pea soup.. Driend beans and peas have always been fairly inexpensive

  3. I made split pea soup this week. Not so cheap anymore. Have you priced ham lately.

  4. So we're back to ham hocks? At least you get some flavor, if not much meat. Are they still affordable?

  5. No, they are expensive for what you get. It's basically a damn bone and they are over 2 bucks a pound. All food is way up in price and the sizes are shrinking as we type.

    Off subject, check out that moon tonight. Beautiful.

  6. Grumpy, I'm over on the forums nagging the hell out of our favorite poster. He was gone for 2 weeks and no one noticed.

  7. Sorry Moos, but I tend to learn more through examples. Never did buy into that: "Do as I say. Not as I do."

  8. That's it! Call 9-1-1 because I think I've just been food-poisoned! Not because I ate peas, but because when I try to eat and Obama drops in for his infomercials, it makes me sick!
    My guess is Obama does not like peas; not with his diet of cheese burgers and fries, downed with a few beers. He simply thinks that if he acts like he's offering up peas as a sacrifice, we'll fall in line and say, "Oh my, let's give peas a chance".

  9. When I was a little girl, my mom used to try to sneak pork brains into scrambled eggs ... she'd tell me it was just scrambled eggs, but I would take one look at that gray stuff mixed in and tell her, "I'm not touching that."

    As for the Obamas, I've got a suggestion as to where they can stick those peas.

  10. Great Post Moos. One day when I had to work late, I came home after supper time and everyone had finished and left the table, except for the youngest. He was sitting there staring at the peas left on his plate. Wanting to be cheerful, I walked into the room, had a brain spasm, and said, "Oooow, peas, yuk". My wife wouldn't speak to me for a week. Rightfully


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.