Thursday, April 14, 2011

My Chocolate 'tis of Thee, Sweet Milk Of Liberty, Of Thee I Moo...

Hey crazy kids!  Want to find out what's going on 'around here'? 

Looking for fair, accurate, and unbiased reporting?

I found it online!

(NOTE:  It's in England.  Anyone else find it ironic that we get better news coverage from the folks we told to 'shove off' two hundred years ago than we do from the people who live, and report, here?  Yeah, me neither...)

Several days ago I wrote a blog entitled "Happy?  Not So Fast", which discussed Councilman Comrie's efforts to kill the Happy Meal, or any meal served with a toy that Mr. Leroy Comrie (don't call me 'Commie') decided was unhealthy for you. 

Yes, this man wants your kids to be healthy (and toy-free).  His legislation, the "No Joy Left Behind Act" would fine businesses who feed the 'poorest Americans'.

Except for the mustache and skin-tone, he reminds me a LOT of a guy in the Austin Powers' film trilogy...  Wonder which character it was, hmm??? 
"So I'm eating my happy meal and realize - Hey, I'm chewing on an Action Figure!
Funny thing was, it wasn't half-bad - and it had very FEW calories!"
Photo courtesy of the NY Post

At the end of the Commie (oops, there I go again) 'Comrie' post, I referenced two additional articles I came across while researching the first.  An article I found informed me that Chocolate Milk was / is being banned at Public Schools (and presumably prisons) in enlightened towns across America.

So I wondered - why?

Who in their 'right mind' would ban a product which is so high in Calcium, Vitamin D, Moo Juice, and, for the love of God - Chocolate?

Let's go the the online to find out: 
"In his first series of Food Revolution, British chef, Jamie Oliver, weighed into the chocolate milk in schools debate after he was shocked to see children tucking into pizza and the dairy drink for breakfast in a school in West Virginia.   

Some agree with the outspoken celebrity chef.

'If we want to fix childhood obesity, chocolate milk is just one of the things we need to get rid of,' Jeff Anderson, a parent of three students at Wolftrap Elementary in Vienna and a member of Real Food for Kids, a Fairfax area advocacy group, told the Washington Post."

Yes, I base all of my dietary decisions upon the 'free advice' provided by outspoken Celebrity Chefs...

To the best of my knowledge, 'Fluffy' was delicious when served with a
light Hollandaise sauce, Mint Jelly and Quart of Chocolate Milk...
Yeah, just what we need, a bunch of politicians and 'Celebrity Chefs' telling us what we can and cannot drink, eat, or otherwise 'ingest'... 

QUESTION:  If you are a 'Celebrity Chef' do you cook for 'Celebrities', or are you just known for being a 'Chef'.  And, wouldn't we be better off taking advice from Nutritionists than guys and gals who run around pumping Salt, Butter, Flour, and Sugar into everything they grill, sear, braise, flambe, or bake?

Paula Deen would be considered a Celebrity Chef too, right?
Thank ladies and gentlemen, I'll be here all night.
Thank you very muuuuuuuuch...

So what happened when Fairfax County Schools banned Chocolate Milk from school lunch rooms?:  We now re-join the article from our friends in England, already in progress...

When a U.S. school district ditched chocolate milk from its cafeterias last year they expected a backlash from students.

What they weren't prepared for was the reaction from nutritionists and other health groups to the decision.

Fairfax County schools district received a slew of letters from nutritional and special interest groups that said their decision was rash and that they had robbed students of not only a tasty drink but also the vitamins and minerals essential for their healthy bone and muscle growth.
'Children who drink flavoured milk meet more of their nutrient needs; do not consume more added sugar, fat or calories; and are not heavier than non-milk drinkers,' so reads the sales pitch.

The new formula hitting Fairfax schools is made by Dean Foods - one of the biggest suppliers of chocolate milk to schools across the country.

A spokesman for the company said it has overhauled its chocolate milk formulas across the board.

'We saw the trends coming,' the spokesman said. 'We recognise the concern that some people might have and wanted to make the change.'

He added the company had reduced calories in its chocolate milk formula by 10 to 15 per cent and sugar by 20 to 25 per cent.
But the facts can't be denied. Currently by the time they are 11, children in the U.S. drink more soda than milk.

The amount of milk consumed in America has fallen to around 20 gallons a year per capita, from 25 gallons in the early 90s.

So there you have it, conclusive proof that Celebrity Chefs are morons and Happy Meal toys are Delicious AND low calorie! 

No, not really, but let me close today's post by saying that in my home, trying to get my kids to drink the 1% Milk my wife keeps buying WITHOUT benefit of a little Hershey's syrup is like trying to get my Golden Retriever to do Calculus. 

She grasps the 'concept' of Calculus (sofar as I can tell), but it's really hard for her to grasp the pencil and write out the calculations for me.  Unfortunately, she is 'Digit Impaired', lacking THUMBS and all...

In a related note, this dog actually LIKEs to drink 1% un-chocolated milk.  Then again, she also drinks out of muddy puddles in the back yard.  Um, also in the winter, when all is white and frozen, she plays with her own frost-bitten pooh. 

This, last statement more than anything else, goes a long way in explaining why she drinks milk 'sans' chocolate... 

For now, kids in Fairfax County, Virginia can drink their Chocolate Milk 'Lite'.  However, in the nearby Washington, DC district, Chocolate Milk remains 'banned'.

In DC, this kid's a 'rebel'...
"Heck yeah - I drink it with a straw.
 You got a problem with that?"

Go on kid, keep stickin' it to the MAN...


  1. All in the name of education reform.

  2. Geez, you'd think they were using Kahlua for the chocolate favoring..

  3. Is that first pic a caricature or is his head really that small? The cartoonists would have a field day with him.

  4. Sandra, It's ALL for the children you know...

    Grumpy, Kahlua would explain some of the behavorial issues in school.

    USMC, His head is 'human sized' - it's the rest of him that's 'super-sized'.

  5. he reminds me a LOT of a guy in the Star Wars Movie... jabba the hut....

  6. The bad chocolate milk is really the 2% stuff they put out that has all the corn syrup in it... why add that much sugar substitute and take out the cream? Similarly this new flavored water colored brown they call healthy chocolate milk is really neither chocolate or milk. All seriousness aside...... all this brew-haha about chocolate sounds borderline racist to me!

  7. Hell with milk running six bucks a gallon, it won't matter anyway.. soda's half the price, even beer is money, and it tastes better..

  8. Paula Deen's "My Two Sons" restaurant in Savannah, GA is to die for. Make reservations in the early afternoon. Screw the food nazi's.

  9. For anyone planning a trip, remember she is your chef NOT your nurse.

  10. OMG! MOOS!
    did you see this?

    This is another one that escaped my attention.... schools in chicago try to ban lunches brought from home!



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