Green Pet Cleaning?

Hangin' With Lassie At the Spa
Bad Lassie, bad...

Two days ago I was looking for reference information on the Center for American Progress' website. Would I go there for any reason other than 'research'? No, I have a low threshold for pain.

I go there for the same reason that people find it impossible to look away when passing a particularly gruesome accident on I-95. You see the State Police car, the flashing lights, and think to yourself, "Holy cow, I'm glad that isn't... Me!" Then you say a quiet prayer for the passengers of the car and tell yourself that you need to be more careful driving - moments later you silently mouth the words, "Dear Lord, don't let THAT happen to me... Oh, and let them be okay too."

So, the experience was surreal as always, but I continue to be amazed by the uniqueness of the people I find posting 'stuff' over 'there'.

I came across an article entitled: It's Easy Being Green: Earth-Friendly Pet Care The post, surprisingly enough, includes options on how to 'Clean Your Pet in an Earth-Friendly Manner'.

No!

Really! It was, and continues to be, about home pet tips which are 'Green' for cleaning your pet...

Yeah. You got it.

Yes, YOU may not be maintaining your pet's 'parts' properly / greenly. Why ask your licensed Veterinarian about basic pet cleaning needs when you can go straight to an Earth-Friendly Website?

Let's see what we can learn, um, about Washing Your Pet!

Excerpted from the site...

• Baking soda: Baking soda’s greatest property is its ability to soak up stink. Sprinkle it on carpets, rugs, and your pet’s bed or favorite snuggling blanket, let it stand for 15 minutes, and then give the treated areas a good vacuuming to remove lingering odors.
• Vinegar: Vinegar is another wonder deodorizer as it’s both a solvent and antibacterial. If your pet has an accident inside, use a white vinegar and warm water solution to remove the lingering smell, which will discourage future accidents in the same place.
• Other options: Further nontoxic products that can be used to clean up various pet-related messes include salt, which can be used to remove hard water stains in fish tanks and aquariums (remember to rinse with fresh water afterward); and club soda, lemon juice, and cream of tartar, all of which can be used to treat stains (use a paste of lemon juice and cream of tartar for best results).

SUPER! Now we know how to clean our pooches, deodorize urine, AND scrub the inside of our fishy tanks!!!

But, I thought that this was meant to be an Earth Friendly post?

How did all the corporate greed, air / soil / water pollution, AND carbon-footprints get in here? Sheesh, I thought they were going to tell us to go out the stream in the back yard, position your dog across a large flat rock in the stream, toss water and BBQ ashes upon the pet and then beat the large panting animal briskly with a large stick until it is clean (roughly six minutes).

Oops, sorry, I got confused, that's how we do laundry at our house. Silly me! Unfortunately the people downstream from us do not appreciate the amount of hair, ash, and dark fluids which stain their clothing as they beat their laundry on the rock next to their home. Phew, am I glad I live near the TOP of the hill and not at the bottom!

Okay, so here are my concerns with the above 'Green Solutions' for pet maintenance:

BAKING SODA
Because the synthetic process used in the Solvay method presented some pollution problems, Church & Dwight Co. Inc. is basing more and more of its manufacturing on trona mining. Another large producer of soda ash, the FMC Corporation, also relies on trona to manufacture soda ash and sodium bicarbonate.

Trona is mined at 1,500 feet (457.2 meters) below the surface. FMC's mine shafts contain nearly 2,500 (4,022.5 kilometers) miles of tunnels and cover 24 square miles (62 square kilometers). Fifteen feet (4.57 meters) wide and nine feet (2.74 meters) tall, these tunnels allow the necessary equipment and vehicles to travel through them.

WHAT!?!? Baking soda is mined 1,500 feet below the surface of the Earth, diesel-equipment is used to transport the raw materials up to the surface AND then it's processed [GASP!] -- Chemically?!?!

Yes, it is.

For the entire process, you can click here: How baking soda is made

Green solution my rump! Baking soda is an EARTH KILLING agent invented by Republicans hundreds of years ago to destroy the sanctity of our planet. Evil, money-grubbing, Republicans lining their pockets with their ill-gotten Baking Soda 'mined-on-the-backs-of-the-poorest-Americans' gains!

How can THIS be an Earth-friendly post? Who did THEY get to to write this blasphemy!?!?

Oh, yeah, and then they write, "then give the treated areas a good vacuuming to remove lingering odors." A vacuum cleaner which is powered by carbon-footprint-laden ELECTRICITY!

What in the heck is going on!?!?!

This REEKS of Dick Cheney. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Earth haters!!!

VINEGAR
The use of vinegar to flavor food is centuries old. It has also been used as a medicine, a corrosive agent, and as a preservative. In the Middle Ages, alchemists poured vinegar onto lead in order to create lead acetate. Called "sugar of lead," it was added to sour cider until it became clear that ingesting the sweetened cider proved deadly.

By the Renaissance era, vinegar-making was a lucrative business in France. Flavored with pepper, clovers, roses, fennel, and raspberries, the country was producing close to 150 scented and flavored vinegars. Production of vinegar was also burgeoning in Great Britain. It became so profitable that a 1673 Act of Parliament established a tax on so-called vinegar-beer.

HUH?!?! "Called "sugar of lead," it was added to sour cider until it became clear that ingesting the sweetened cider proved deadly." Let me get this straight, this Earth-Friendly product is CORROSIVE and POISONOUS?!?! And they want me to put it into my pet's ears AND onto the carpeted surfaces of my home?

Oh no, I don't think so! I was born at night, but it wasn't LAST night! The only redeeming feature of vinegar is that it was Taxed by Parliament in 1673. Yeah, I'm all for taxing hazardous materials and the rich corporations who manufacture them! This will help people be safe! Just like the cigarette taxes the Fed's been collecting for years - making Cancers... Darn near 'Extinct'!

But you will not find me forcibly putting corrosive poisons into my pet's ears - especially not after that horrific beating she took on the rock in the stream in the back yard...

Not me buddy. Find yourself another 'Earth-Firster' to do this to their dog, not mine.

Dirtbag corporations selling corrosive poison to unsuspecting Americans for PROFITS!!!

"Bush, where are YOU, Bush!?!? I smell you all over this 'vinegar-poisoning-American-pets-everywhere. thing!!!"


OTHER OPTIONS (a.k.a.: Salt)
Salt is obtained from two sources: rock salt and brine. Rock salt is simply crystallized salt, also known as halite. It is the result of the evaporation of ancient oceans millions of years ago. Large deposits of rock salt are found in the United States, Canada, Germany, eastern Europe, and China.

Underground salt deposits are usually discovered by prospectors searching for water or oil. When salt is detected, a diamond-tipped, hollow drill is used to take several regularly spaced core samples throughout the area. These samples are analyzed to determine if salt mining would be profitable.

Once again, the purveyors of 'Salt' have infiltrated the Green Movement. Who knew that salt is discovered by Rich Multi-National Corporations drilling for oil and water? They drill down to the very heart of Mother Earth and biopsy her flesh looking for unconscionable PROFITS.

I can't go on, this supposedly 'Green Pet Maintenance' story reeks of Capitalistic Greed, Evil Corporations and Earth 'Rape'.

"What do you think Frisky, oh cat o' mine? What do you think about these 'supposed' Earth-Lovers hurting our MOTHER EARTH!?!?"

"Very well then Frisky, let's prepare to moo-ve on to something else for tomorrow."

It's hard to believe that so many Americans continue to fall for the 'Failed policies of the past' when it comes to washing their dogs' 'bits'.

Green Pet cleaning - indeed!

That's it, nothing more to see here... Well, almost nothing...

"Please don't kill Mother Earth. Please?
I'm so afraid..."