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Thursday, July 14, 2011
The Ghost of Thanksgiving Yet to Come
Examiner sent me this originally, and I couldn't pass it up. As so often happens when people see blogs or stories that resonate it has been passed along and forwarded several times. Somewhere in the process the real authors name had gotten lost in the shuffle. I'm reluctant to post other peoples work without giving them credit and linking back to the original, or at least making an effort. So I googled a few lines, as expected with a piece like this, other bloggers have no such qualms, they'll publish a piece like this without mentioning they found it somewhere, let alone finding or mentioning the real author. I found what I was looking for on the third hit I checked..
I think you guys will enjoy
And Now, for Something Entirely Different... The Ghost
of Thanksgiving Yet to Come Arnold Ahlert
"Winston, come into the dining room,
it's time to eat," Julia yelled to her husband. "In a minute, honey, it's a tie
score," he answered. Actually Winston wasn't very interested in the
traditional holiday football game between Detroit and Washington. Ever since the
government passed the Civility in Sports Statute of
2017, outlawing tackle football for its "unseemly violence" and the
"bad example it sets for the rest of the world," Winston was far less of a
football fan than he used to be. Two-hand touch wasn't nearly as
Yet it wasn't the game that
Winston was uninterested in. It was more the thought of eating another
TofuTurkey. Even though it was the best type of VeggieMeat available after the
government revised the American Anti-Obesity Act of
2018, adding fowl to the list of federally-forbidden foods, (which
already included potatoes, cranberry sauce and mince-meat pie), it wasn't
anything like real turkey. And ever since the government officially changed the
name of "Thanksgiving Day" to "A National Day of
Atonement" in 2020 to officially acknowledge the Pilgrims'
historically brutal treatment of Native Americans, the holiday had lost a lot of
Eating in the dining room
was also a bit daunting. The unearthly gleam of
government-mandated fluorescent light bulbs made the TofuTurkey look
even weirder than it actually was, and the room was always cold. Ever since
Congress passed the Power Conservation Act of
2016, mandating all thermostats - which were monitored and controlled
by the electric company - be kept at 68 degrees, every room on the north side of
the house was barely tolerable throughout the entire winter.
Still, it was good getting
together with family. Or at least most of the family. Winston missed his mother,
who passed on in October, when she had used up her legal
allotment of live-saving medical treatment. He had had many heated
conversations with the Regional Health Consortium, spawned when the private
insurance market finally went bankrupt, and everyone was forced into the
government health care program. And though he demanded she be kept on her
treatment, it was a futile effort. "The RHC's resources are limited," explained
the government bureaucrat Winston spoke with on the phone. "Your mother received
all the benefits to which she was entitled. I'm sorry for your loss."
Ed couldn't make it either.
He had forgotten to plug in his electric car last night, the only kind available
after the Anti-Fossil Fuel Bill of 2021
outlawed the use of the combustion engines - for everyone but government
officials. The fifty mile round trip was about ten miles too far, and Ed didn't
want to spend a frosty night on the road somewhere between here and
brother, John, and his wife were flying in. Winston made sure that the dining
room chairs had extra cushions for the occasion. No one complained more than
John about the pain of sitting down so soon after the
government-mandated cavity searches at airports, which severely
aggravated his hemorrhoids. Ever since a terrorist successfully smuggled a
cavity bomb onto a jetliner, the TSA told Americans the added "inconvenience"
was an "absolute necessity" in order to stay "one step ahead of the terrorists."
Winston's own body had grown accustomed to such probing ever since the
government expanded their scope to just about anywhere a crowd gathered, via
Anti-Profiling Act of 2022. That law made it a
crime to single out any group or individual for "unequal scrutiny," even when
probable cause was involved. Thus, cavity searches at malls, train stations, bus
depots, etc., etc., had become almost routine. Almost.
The Supreme Court is
reviewing the statute, but most Americans expect a Court composed of six
progressives and three conservatives to leave the law intact. "A living
Constitution is extremely flexible," said the Court's eldest member, Elena
Kagan. "Europe has had laws like this one for years. We should learn from their
example," she added.
Winston's thoughts turned to
his own children. He got along fairly well with his 12-year-old daughter,
Brittany, mostly because she ignored him. Winston had long ago surrendered to
the idea that she could text anyone at any time, even during Atonement Dinner.
Their only real confrontation had occurred when he limited her to 50,000 texts a
month, explaining that was all he could afford. She whined for a week, but got