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| Sing with me now: "Jellyfish Fields Forever..." |
"Hey everybody, what day is it?!"
"It's Earth Day Mr. Cow Guy! Yay!"
"Yes kids, today is Earth Day! Break out your 'Earth Shoes', your hip 'hemp' clothing, and your best Jerry Garcia T-Shirt and join the festivities! Because you'll want to 'Fit In', make sure you appear 'excited' when you attend any, and all, Earth Day activities."
Then be sure to hug the person closest to you (preferably a 'girl' if you are a 'guy' and a 'guy' if, well, you get the idea) and tell them, "You know, I've never known anyone who cares as much about the Earth... As YOU!" Then ask them if they'd like to go 'halvsies' on an herbal Smoothie at the closest Smoothie Bar you can find (I believe this would be in California).
Lastly, send me $500 as a finder's fee when you get married since you didn't have to do that whole 'e-Harmony' thing and date (at LEAST) 634 losers to find your eco-conscious new best friend and soul mate.
I was going to let Earth Day go under the radar until I saw that it (of course) was mentioned on the newspaper website.
What can I say? I'm weak, I HAVE to go there now...
Have you ever wanted to find out how to be Earth-Friendly at work (while being spoken to like you're a six-year old)?
Well then, this video is for you!
The following was found on the NY Times website (yes, the ACTUAL New York Times.com site).
(I just KNEW I was going to see worms today... Ewwwww.)
As a sidebar, don't ever let these people into your home, trust me. "If it's yellow let it (like) mellow, if it's brown flush it down."
Oh boy, these folks are a HUGE evolutionary step forward...
Thanks NY Times! But, hey, doesn't the NY Time guys WASTE a lot of paper?!
For you folks who actually plan on DRIVING in the future, I would be remiss in not mentioning a video from the nice folks at 'GreenCar' so you can drive 'greenly' (not sure if that is a word) in the future.
Do YOUR part to save the Earth, go take a walk with your friend, your dog, or your little fuzzy bunny named 'Hugh', and get away from this computer screen, life is out THERE, it's not in HERE.
Okay?
That's it, no more to see here, Moo-ve along...
Oh, and 'Happy Earth Day' Mother Earth! Many (a.k.a.: '1') happy returns! (Until 2012 when YOU turn on US and SMITE us because the Mayans' stupid calendar runs out and there are solar storms on the sun and we'll be burned up like in that 'Knowing' Movie and then we'll all just be 'Dust in the Wind' like in that Kansas song, and...)
Yeah, Happy Earth Day Mother Earth, you, you 'taker of all life as we know it' you, you, you... Hag!
Sorry, I'm goin' out with the good dogs now.
Before it's too late.
Have a Green Day!!!
p.s.: If you aren't stressed enough, be sure to visit the "100 Places To See Before They Disappear" link. I hope Disney World's not on the list... Book your plane tickets soon, before the planes 'disappear' too.
I peed in the river today...I figure I saved tons of energy since that water is going to waste treatment anyway.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow I plan on pooping on a liberal.
First video: #9, explains the high unemployment rate.
ReplyDeleteSecond video: Rich kids, who else. I can tell you what they can do with the seed house but it’s Easter so I will say that sustainability ain’t jack. Oh yeah and this is definitely not in NYC because Michael Bloomberg would condemn their house.
They do not flush that often - now that is just NASTY! Oh yeah and short showers? You know these are some funky folks.
Third video: So with all of the unemployed from the first video and then some, who can afford these Obamavehicles. I don’t know about you but New Yorkers are not giving up their SUVs no matter how high the price of gas and no matter what Obama has to say. Most of us are pissed at him anyway.
Happy Snappy Earth Day to you and your dogs from me and my cat, Smokey. Outstanding post by the way. I laughed from beginning to end.
Wouls a Sherwood Green Hummer H-II crack the Top 5?
ReplyDeletePuma, I paid a visit to your Earthday Blog... loved the talking Elm Tree....
ReplyDeleteMoos, recycled or otherwise this is a great blog.. Not sure if those rich kids Puma mentioned are spoiled or soiled