Saturday, March 26, 2011

3 New Navy Ships:


Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS!

When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.


Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling

1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years

2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft

3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet


1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline

2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall

3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres

4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds

5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons

6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet


1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel

2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days

3. 18,150 meals served daily
4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes
5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones
6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets


The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order, there are no firearms allowed on board.

This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.
In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada or Oxford



Details are vague.
But don't you worry.........he has a plan.


  1. Phil,

    You forgot to mention a detail on the "USS Barack Obama". You can't see it from this angle, but it's in there. The hole in the bottom of the ship that is filling the ship fast with water.

  2. If he's been drinking salt water, hat might explain it.... I'm still more inclined to think it's the reds

  3. i tried to post about an hour ago, but it didn't i go again:
    the other 2 ships give a great deal of information in re the capabilities of the craft, the services it offers, the capacity, size, etc, but i don't see even a "poop scoop" in the O-dinghy! thanx, grumpy for the chuckle, chortle & snicker of the day! regards, alphamom/marianne

  4. I snorted coffee out of my nose when I saw these this morning.

  5. Alphamom, sorta looks like he's up the proverbial creek...

    Captain, it was too good to let go bye.

  6. I was fortunate enough to be on the Arizona memorial a number of years ago when the USS Constellation majestically entered Pearl Harbor, as the 'all hands on deck' order was issued when it paused in front of the memorial. I still get goosebumps as the sailors and the contingent of Marines that were being transported for R&R smartly and efficiently snapped to attention on deck. Similarly it makes me naseous thinking of the apologies issued on their behalf by this pretender CIC. I am certain the USS Obama is not in motion in that picture because it ran out of gas..... thanks for the chuckle and a great memory jog....

  7. You are wrong Lefty, there is a lot of gas left in the Jack Ass.

    Saul Goode

  8. The positive side of this would be no great loss if the USS barry is captured py pirates off the coast of somalia.

  9. You are wrong Lefty, there is a lot of gas left in the Jack Ass.

    Saul Goode



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